My Life...daily reflections

Adios

Headin' here Saturday mornin! I'll check in if I'm able to snag some wi-fi again. Otherwise, see ya in a week!!!!

It's that time again...

 

It's May, which means it's time for strawberry picking around these parts. For the past four years, we have gone every spring to pick strawberries at a nearby farm. Dave's father, who recently passed away, is actually the one who got us started on the practice when we moved back to this area. He picked strawberries with his wife every spring and suggested we might do it with Sarah when she got old enough.

So, every spring since Sarah was three we have gone with Dave'd dad to pick strawberries. It's always been a very special thing for us, a time spent with Papa for the children that they looked forward to. Needless to say, this year's trip was very bittersweet with his absence. It felt good to go, but it wasn't the same, in more ways than in him not being with us. We generally go picking before we go on vacation and by this time the fields are beginning to peter out...having been picked over for nearly a month. Due to unusually cool and VERY rainy weather, the crop this year is late and immature. We weren't sure what we would find when we got there, but our suspicions were accurate...lots of plants full of small or immature berries. It was nice to be out there with it not in the 90s as it typically is. Saturday was overcast and in the 80s, so the most comfortable weather we've ever gone in really.

The girls are old hands at the picking now and needed very little guidance from us, even with the difficult crop. We picked three baskets full, surprisingly. The girls talked about Papa alot, which made Dave very happy. We also picked up the best strawberry cake ever and enjoyed the newly available homemade strawberry icecream!!

I think Papa enjoyed himself too...I could feel him there with us, reminding the girls to only get the red ones and not the green and to look under the leaves for the big ones! I'm so glad we have the memories of picking with Papa for the girls...and us...and of course the photos. Here are the snaps from this year, minus a very important fellow who isn't visible, but sure was felt.

 

 

 

 

 

Maggie

 

We had to put Maggie to sleep today.

She came to live with us two years ago after I found her in the middle of a busy intersection, running in between oncoming traffic from two directions. I jumped out of my car, at a red light, and whistled for her and she came to me and I heaved her more than 70lb frame into the back of my car.

My intent that day was to first not see her be hit by a car or multiple cars, and then hopefully find her owner. After a check from my vet, we discovered that she had a bad heartworm infestation. We spent the money to treat her and decided to let her recuperate with us for the several weeks that was required. She was skiddish...and huge. She had a sweet temperament, but had obviously not been very socialized and was more than likely mistreated.

We kept her. She lived mostly outside, afraid to walk on our smooth hardwood floors. She gained weight and was a horse. She liked to dig. She knew EXACTLY what time of the day she was to be fed and made it known immediately. She snored in her sleep and farted, alot.

Last fall I noticed that she was dragging her back foot as I was taking her for her monthly grooming. The vet said it wasn't good...more than like a nerve disorder that would get progressively worse. It got progressively worse, bringing us to the decision that we couldn't watch her continue to not move, drag herself around or fall continually down the steps of our deck just to try and go to the bathroom.

This week she barely moved three to four feet in one spot on our covered porch. None of us had seen her leave that spot. She actually used the bathroom on the deck since she couldn't get off it. She barely ate and had lost so much weight. We all knew the time had come.

I've had animals my entire life. I've worked with animals at a humane society. I have lots of experience and love for them. Today just plain sucked. I will admit, with Maggie's age and her personality, we, as a family never bonded fully with her. We gave her a home, we gave her love and care, but it never felt as if she would be with us permanently. I hate that we saved her only to end up having to put her sleep. But it was the right thing. No animal should live in the kind of condition she'd gotten to.

I feel horribly guilty and sad. And I will miss her big soulful eyes and tilted head looking up at me to see if I've brought her bacon. Dave got up this morning and fried up a half a package for the old girl. It was her favorite. We'll miss you Maggie.

Remodeling, Part (I've lost count)

When we bought our house six years ago, we knew that we would need to update things in the 12 year old house. We began with paint, then moved to the kitchen, on to the flooring and walls in the guest bath. Then last year we remodeled the master bath. This year, the upstairs bath that is the girls is getting a much needed overhaul. It's a SMALL bath with NO storage. It is incredibly outdated with a cheap vanity and crappy vinyl flooring. Or rather, it was, because as of this morning, all that stuff is in the dump, and we are on our way to an updated third full bath in this now 18 year old house. Yay!

Here's before shots of the bath, which I painted before Ruby was born just to update it until we could redo it completely.

Cute enough in photos, thanks to Pottery Barn Kids. But in reality, the entire bath was cheaply installed. And I mean CHEAP. We aren't spending a ton of cash in there, but it will have custom made cabinets for more storage, new fab tile and crown molding and a fresh color on the walls...not to mention, finally, a toilet that isn't drab beige! You can't really tell here, but the fixtures (bath too) are this muddy beige color that just looks, well, dirty. It would cost too much to rip out the shower/tub, so we're having to leave that in place. But today I bought a bright, shiny new white toilet. I have to tell you that I'm more excited about that than anything else in there I think.

I'll keep updates coming as we progress!

Coming full circle

Today the girls and I went to my mom's to visit for Mother's Day (yes, I know it's not until tomorrow...she wanted me to spend the day with my family tomorrow). The girls love to visit my mother's because it is a treasure trove of goodies...tons and tons of baubles and dress up stuff that they can get into. From the moment they hit the front door until they leave, they are covered in various pieces of costume jewelery, old shoes, hats, scarves and the like.

My mother seems to be channeling my grandmother in her twilight years in her love for rhinestones and plastic jewelery. She has a HUGE collection of the stuff, along with alot that was kept of my grandmother's. Her back bedroom is a shrine to such things, with a hat rack full of vintage hats...a collection that was once mine, started with ones of my late grandmother's and added to by both me and my mom. There are mannequins dressed in vintage dresses too. I was looking in the closet of that room today and noticed the old fur stole of my granny's and took it down for the girls to see. Ruby was instantly smitten and wrapped it around her neck dramatically, saying, "I'm wearing a dead animal."

It was about then that my mother commented on how much she looked like me, at just her age, dressed in that very stole. The photo was actually sitting on the dresser right beside us. Sure enough, the resemblance between my youngest and myself was striking. It was then, I got the idea to recreate that very photo, taken right after my grandmother had died back in 1977 on the front porch of the house my mom still lives in. Ruby was more than excited with my plan. We managed to find nearly every accessory I had worn in the photo. The only difference between Ruby and I was that she wasn't wearing my grandmother's clothes like I had been.

Thankfully the skies had cleared of the continual rain we've had for days now. I tried to pose Ruby in a very similar way as I was standing in the picture. She wasn't exactly cooperative. But, I did get some really sweet shots of her that gave both my mother and I goosebumps when we compared the two images side by side. There is no denying that I am Ruby's mom, that's for sure. She looks so much like me at that age it's just eerie, right down to the dark circles under her eyes caused by a constant stuffy nose!

So Sarah wouldn't feel left out, we dressed her up too and took her own version of the dress up photo. Though Sarah and I don't share such a striking resemblance, the image of her dressed up really touched me. Both my girls, playing in the same things I played in so long ago gave me a very profound moment, as their mother. It was like coming full circle.

There is no better gift in the world for Mother's Day.

 

Me, at my grandparent's house, now my mother's house, around age 5, circa 1977, dressed in my grandmother's clothes and jewelery.

 

Ruby, age 4, 2009, at the same spot, wearing the same things. I tried to make the photo look a bit vintage, lol.

Here's Sarah dressed up.

  

When I got home and was looking through my photos, I found this one of Sarah that I took the other day while she as vacumming for the first time... (with a little vintage action added)

 

It reminded me of this series of shots of me at around her age (hence the vintage action)...

 Like I said, full circle.