My Life...daily reflections

Backyard beauty

Our backyard perennial garden, put in last year, has really taken off this year. Perhaps, a little too well. One of my choices was catmint, which looks alot like lavender, but is faster growing and longer lasting. I'm not sure about the longer lasting part, in terms of the flowers blooming, but as far as the faster growing...well, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

These were VERY small last year when we put them in. They have grown so fast and so much that they are towering over pretty much everything else we planted! You can barely see the rose bushes peaking out behind them. I was going to pull them out because of their tenacity...but when I walked out one morning and saw them in bloom and the HUNDREDS of honey bees and butterflies visiting them, I couldn't bear the thought!

To give you an idea of how much the catmint is thriving, this is one plant. It measures FIVE FEET across!!

Here's what this spot looked like last year, before these lovely plants were put in this new bed.

Horrible isn't it! This is the remnant of my attempt at a vegetable garden the previous year. We did grow vegetables...and lots and lots of weeds! The fence was the keep our dog out and other critters that frequent our backyard that loved pretty much everything I planted. Vegetable gardens are alot of work! Hence the move to a perennial flower bed.

And here is what the same spot looked like last year after all that ugly stuff was torn out and the pretty plants put in. Note how SMALL the catmint plants were LESS than a year ago!

Pretty cool huh? I LOVE perennials. We are in the process of finishing up the back yard landscaping with some pretty special stuff around the playhouse. I'll post before and after pics soon.

With all the new plants in the backyard, I've been trying to bring more birds too. I added a couple of feeders. So far it's brought several different kinds of birds, but we've most enjoyed a pair of cardinals that frequent the feeder next the deck daily. Unfortunately, this increase in birds (and other creatures) brought by the food has not been totally positive. Our cat Felix has found many of them easy prey. And sadly he's decided my new front perennial bed is where he likes to display his kills. We found three birds and a mouse in the flower bed just the other day.  Not to mention a few piles of feathers here and there and another couple of carcasses before that. There is a distinct odor in the back yard too that I think Felix is responsible for. Poor birds. I can't decide if I want to keep the feeder and enjoy watching them or if I should remove it to save them from being slaughtered by Felix!

Thankfully yesterday the cardinal couple made it safe and sound to the feeder. I caught this shot of them, though from far away, that I thought was too cute!

It looks like their kissing doesn't it? The male bird was giving the female bird some seed. Isn't that sweet!?

And lastly, I am SO happy that the catmint is bringing dozens and dozens of bees to the backyard. Last year we honestly saw less than a dozen bees all summer long, which really concerned me. They are back in full force this year and loving that mint. It does smell absolutely heavenly in my backyard...in between the swiffs of road kill created by my cat!

 

Ya win some you lose some...teeth that is

This evening took an unexpected turn with a bit of excitement...Sarah lost her first tooth!

The tooth had been loosening up for more than a couple of months. She was beginning to get very frustrated over it not budging, especially with nearly all of her classmates losing teeth almost weekly. Last week, at her six month cleaning, she even asked the dentist to just go ahead and pull it. When she heard the word shot though, she changed her mind. The dentist said while the tooth was loose, it would probably be some time before it came out. Well, tonight I took a look at it like I regulary do and saw that it was turned sideways a bit and much, much looser. So I decided we should give it a go to try and get that puppy out of there.

It was quite the big deal. I moved Sarah to better light in the kitchen as Ruby gave play by play commentary. Unfortunately, David was at work and missed the entire thing. I set up my video camera to capture the momentous occassion. Of course, as luck would have it, the hard disk space became full and it shut down right BEFORE I got the tooth out! We even had granny on the speaker phone as we got the tooth out.

I must tell you, it was surprising how emotional the entire thing was. Sarah cried. I cried. My mother cried. We all cried (and freaked Ruby OUT). Sarah was soooo sweet though. While I hate that I missed getting the tooth coming out on film, I am more upset that I didn't capture Sarah's reaction. She was trying not to cry, but was nontheless...not because she was scared or hurting, but because she realized what a big thing it was...that she was now really a big kid, that those baby days are very much behind her. And she was excited about the new gap in her teeth too. She said, "I'm gonna look so cute with my new haircut, a gap in my teeth and my jelly shoes!"

As for me, I cried like a baby losing her teeth myself, lol. I simply can't believe we are this point...losing of teeth. I remember thinking back when she was a baby and we were waiting and watching for her teeth to come in that it would be sooooo long before she was big enough to lose them. Now that time is here and it feels like I only turned around for a second.

I am so glad I was the one who pulled it...who shared this with her. I HATE that Dave wasn't here. He was his usual chipper self though and said he'd catch the next one (love his attitude...I would have been devastated). As for me getting to experience this, as a parent I must say this is one of the top 10 ultra cool moments. The whole thing was just surreal and so very moving...helping her not get scared and talking her through the brief pain as it came out, getting it out and showing it to her. And of course now all the after parts involving the tooth fairy. She is using MY tooth fairy pillow from childhood, which really makes me happy. She ran and got it the second her tooth was out.

I realized tonight how very much my child Sarah is. She is so utterly sentimental it isn't even funny. As we were getting her ready for bed I suggested we read her book called "The Night Before the Tooth Fairy". She said, "Mom, I already thought of that and got it out."  As we read she suggested we read this book every time she loses a tooth. We also decided that that book would be the record of when she lost her teeth, and I recorded the date and location of this first one coming out. She then instructed me to put it in the keepsake box in her room and that we'd pull it out for the next tooth. So glad she thought of that way to record her losing her baby teeth, and really proud that she did.

Again, I'm not sure why her losing her first tooth was so emotional for me. I guess it's just a mother thing. Though, before she went to sleep Sarah said that she wanted to see her tooth before the tooth fairy took it. This is what she said...and you can bet I was bawling my eyes out...as she held the tiny tooth in her small hand, "Bye bye baby tooth. You were a good tooth. You took my first bite of food when I was a baby...mama said you were the first to come in. Now you're the first one to come out. I will miss you. I hope you end up in a new baby's mouth so he can take his first bite off a popsicle soon."

Man alive...I won't make it through the rest of her milestones if she continues to get this sappy on me!!! Seriously, she is the sweetest child in the world and I adore her beyond reason.

Here's the play by play of Sarah's first lost tooth in photos!

Her last shot with a full set of chompers!

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!

Acting silly as we work on getting that toothy outta there...

Oooh, nearly there...

THERE WE GO...FINALLY OUT!! It's so tiny!

Ruby is completely amazed and shocked by the whole thing. She later informs me that she never wants to be a big kid cuz she doesn't want her teeth to fall out.

Sarah with her gap and her tooth fairy book.

That was my tooth fairy pillow when I was Sarah's age.

Teach your children well

Every morning when I drop Sarah off at school, I complain about the traffic that comes from the university right across the street. Other than the fact that the university makes it pretty crowded on the streets, I had never really thought about the perks it's location might offer in relation to Sarah's school, until recently. On four different occasions, her class has taken a field trip...a quick hour or so...across the street to the university. I wrote about the one to the milk processing plant last week. In addition, the university sends professors and students across that street all the time to do special things with the kids. So, what was seemingly inconvenient to me, has turned out to be something really special for Sarah.

Today's field trip was to learn about alternative fuel source cars. The university has received a few grants from the state to develop biofuel/alternative energy cars. What we saw today was totally impressive and a bit mind blowing. In this small, very unassuming little garage were six cars...three racing Corvettes, a Nissan truck, a Toyota prius and another car that I can't remember. The three Corvettes respectively ran on ethanol, hydrogen derived from water and used cooking oil obtained from McDonald's. Those huge engines roared like you'd expect in that small metal building, but put out NO foul emissions that would have endangered any of the kids one bit. One car, that we actually didn't get to see run, ran on methane derived from cow manure at the university's ag department cow barns. The pickup truck ran totally on a battery powered from a massive solar panel at the side of the building. The last car, the Prius, was probably the most impressive...though that completely silent truck driving around really freaked me out. The Prius is a flex fuel vehicle using a solar powered battery, a hydrogen fuel cell and a traditional gas engine, making it possible to use it in a variety of areas where these future fuel sources hopefully will be available.

I attended this university. So did David. I had no idea they were this advanced in terms of technology and engineering. While most of the kids really didn't get the importance of what they saw today, us parents sure did. We talked among ourselves on the dire need for these vehicles and fuel options. All of us were interested in finding out more...wanting to find a way to help these technologies make it into the "real" world. Also, all of us were very, VERY irked that they haven't and won't any time soon.

I've known for a long time that half of these "fuel" sources were options for cars. What I didn't realize is that this university is just one part of a statewide program for further research and development to make these options a reality and available on a widespread basis. It made me very proud to be an alumni of this school and a resident of this state. I'm sure the program we have here, BioTenn, is just one part of a federally backed program for other states. But heck, if I hadn't gone today I would have never know my state had something like this and that perhaps, I'm pretty sure, that other states do too. Now what to do to get this to the private sector...outside of Honda and outside of the lovely state of California.

Anyway, it was a pretty cool field trip. Who knew as a mom I'd learn so much during one of these things?

This car ran on ethanol.

This car ran on vegetable oil.

This car ran on a solar powered battery.

 

And this little car ran all the way home...nay, just kidding. It ran on hydrogen, solar and regular ole, nasty ole gasoline.

Isn't this cool? I so want this at my HOUSE!

Airing motherhood's dirty laundry...on Mother's Day

So, this post should be about how wonderful my Mother's Day was. But, it won't be, because, in all it's brutal honesty, it was a horrible, painful day around here due, yes, to my children's behavior.

There I said it. I fessed up that this whole mothering thing isn't always as enjoyable or poetic as one might think, even on Mother's Day. Today, in particular, sucked a big one, and all I could think of was how in the world I was gonna get through it without just bolting for my car and perhaps not returning for a loooong while, like months.

What per se made this day so not "let mom know how wonderful we think she is and let her have a relaxing, loving day"? Well, that would be two things...one is six and one is three, though I have to give more credit to the three year old since she was pretty much the one running the funfest today. Three is so much worse than two, I can't even begin to describe.

If she wasn't pulling down ALL her freshly hung and laundered clothes, she was making a torential mess in some other part of the house or spilling pudding all over the floor or screaming her head off over anything she didn't find particular agreeable.. And when I say screaming, I mean the kind of SCREAMING where you think you're gonna have a heart attack because your blood pressure goes up with each decibel. The session from the afternoon centered around her dad sitting in a chair she wanted and then that she didn't get "THE PINK HIPPO" while playing hungry hippo. OMG, the screaming.

Thankfully, Sarah was scared enough from my own tantrums over all this toddler induced stress today that she was actually pretty good (meaning she pretty much left me be in between dealing with her sister all day). I'm telling you, I don't know if I'm gonna make it through the next six months until Ruby turns four. I distinctly remember the same thing when Sarah was three. Did I mention again how three sucks? I did? Ok, just wanted to cover that thoroughly.

They are now in bed. I am sitting her in the quiet and thinking the day over. I know that they are just kids. I know how lucky I am to be their mother. And I LOVE them more than I could ever express. BUT...I will admit that some days they really beat me down with the amount of stress they can induce and the amount of energy they require. Today was a hard mom day...not an easy mom day (are there such days really? LOL). I feel totally guilty for feeling not totally into my kids today...on Mother's Day. Yet, I can't say either of them was really "into" me today either. It was a mutually "not into" each other kind of day. I think, maybe, we've had too much family together time the past few days. We have really, which is totally ironic. I suppose in a way I got my Mother's Day over the past couple of days.

Friday was great...half day spent at both girls' schools enjoying Mother's Day celebrations. That afternoon we picked Sarah up early from school and went strawberry picking and then out to dinner (though the end of the day did get a bit hairy due to tiredness). On Saturday, we visited both grandmother's early for Mother's Day. It was a long, but nice day out. I was so hoping today would just a nice relaxing day at home with the girls. We were at home, but can't say I got a moment of relaxation all day...until now, when they are sound asleep.

I don't know if in the last six years of being a mom if I have really learned to deal with all the ups and downs of parenting that well. It always throws me for a loop when we have a bad day like today. I feel horribly guilty. I feel like a bad mother. I wonder where I've gone wrong in my parenting that I can't get them to behave the way I'd like. I feel bad for not liking them very much when they are soooo obnoxious. There's a whole arms list of stuff that I feel on days like this, a list I know all other mom's can relate to.

But it's like my relationship with David. We've lasted for so long, I think anyway, because we can ride these rocky waves relatively unscathed. There are hard feelings and resentment and all that other stuff, but in the end something makes you just let it all go. And that is THE hardest thing about mothering sometimes, it can be SOOOO wonderful and SOOOO bad within such a short amount of time...like minute to minute. It can make your head swirl sometimes how changeable it can be. One minute you are cuddling a little half naked girl, just up from her nap and rubbing her soft skin and hearing her tell you that she loves you the best and most. The next you are having to pick her up and drag her to time out because she has screamed for 20 mintues and thrown a toy and hit her sister in the face because she didn't give her the marble first. AAARRRGGGHHH! Up, down, up, down...every which way you can imagine. Yup, that's mothering in a nutshell. Never know what's around the next bend.

THANKFULLY, there is just as much wonderful as there is not so wonderful. And that part is what I will showcase here...the two days before today where I felt loved and blessed as a mother. I felt that too today...I just had to force myself to feel it where the past two days it flowed so readily just because. I value the good days. I dread the bad ones. I adore my children and I love being the mother. Sometimes, though, I don't necessarily enjoy it. And that's ok.

So on to our strawberry picking. This is an annual family outing. We've gone now for four years with David's dad to a nearby family farm to pick. It's one of our favorite things to do as a family, and we enjoy it each time we do it. I've blogged about past trips before HERE and HERE. If you take a look at those posts you will notice that I pretty much take the same pictures, or similiar ones, each year. That is part of the tradition of the trip, I take pretty much the same shots as the previous year, only difference is that the girls have grown and so have our mid sections (all but for David's dad...he's too skinny).

 

After we got done picking, we decided to take a little drive through the country. I'm so glad we did because we saw some of the most beautiful countryside I've seen in a while. It was so nice and warm and we drove with the windows down. You could hear the gravel popping under the car and smell the hay and honeysuckle. So amazing. Made me want to ditch out city digs and move on out to the boonies!

 

Happy mother's day

Grab a box of kleenex...you'll need em' for this!

(WARNING: This video has some very sad and disturbing footage of a natural animal kill. Keep watching though. Tissues mandatory!!!!)

Home grown

Yesterday I chaperoned yet another field trip at Sarah's school (we have one or two more before school ends in three weeks!). Though I've enjoyed the other field trips, I was pretty excited about this particular one, a trip to the milk processing plant over at the local university, which is right across the street from the school.

The reason I was excited about this tour is because we have recently become part of a local Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program, which will include locally produced dairy that just so happens to be processed at this facility.

Being from the South and a daughter of older parents, farm life is no stranger to me. I grew up hearing about and visiting our family's farm. Stories of milk being delivered to the front stoop always fascinated me. So when I learned we could have the same thing I was tickled. Sarah wasn't too impressed with the trip, until she realized there would be a couple of cows there for her to pet...and milk! I was pretty excited about that myself. I've never milked a cow before either.

It was yet another gorgeous day (should I say it again in fear I might jinx this lovely trend) so the walk to the university was nice this morning. The kids were thrilled with the cows and enthralled about the process of "making" milk. And, of course, I was totally into seeing where our new milk will be processed.

I must interject a bit of a side-note here about my support of the CSA programs springing up all over the nation. I had heard about this type of program, where you buy shares of a local farmer's produce and have it delivered fresh while in season. But, when I checked into a year or so ago it wasn't readily available in my area. This year I had two great choices. One was already full for the year and the other was nearly full. We scooted in just under the gun. I was glad that we ended up with the farm we did because, as I said, they offer locally produced dairy.

There are two reasons why I support community supported agriculture programs. First, I am absolutely sick and tired of buying produce from all over the globe. It really bothers me to go to the grocery to get grapes, apples or lettuce and not have any selection from a state nearby, let alone this country, most of the time. I know we have a safe food supply (or so we are told), but the idea of my grapes coming from half way around the world just doesn't sit well with me. By the time it is picked and shipped, which may only be a few days, it's lost is freshness. Seems that once I buy fruits and vegetables that look pretty good in the store, they go bad within just a day or so when I get them home. I can't help but believe it's because they have been put under such stress of extreme temperatures and humidity in transport. And I'm also concerned about regulations for pesticides and such that other countries may or may not have.

The second reason I love CSAs is because it supports small, local farmers, a dying breed in this day and age. My entire family, up until my mother's generation, produced it's own food...both livestock and produce. They were not only self sustaining farmers, but working farmers. Small farms are important. They are what this country was built on. I know large scale commercial farms are necessity in this day and age with our world market views. But I won't apologize in saying that I'm not as concerned about us producing food for the entire world...or them us...as I am that we keep it regional and locally produced. I heard just the other day a very sad statistic...back in 1900 forty percent of the country were farmers. Today only two percent farm. That's just an outright shame. Any bit of support we can give the local, small farmer is very important in my view.

I can't wait for our first pickup of veggies in the next couple of weeks! And our first delivery of milk! I was so hoping we'd get it in glass bottles like my mother remembers, but alas, they put it in regular ole plastic milk jugs. Oh well, I don't care. I got to meet one of the cows today that will give us our weekly allotment of milk and actually got to try and milk her myself. I can't describe how cool that was and how much pride I had in knowing I was helping keep such a rich and meaningful thing stay alive...small, family owned farms. Check one out in your local area at THIS very cool and useful website.

Arriving at the milk plant.

The look on the cow's face here just kills me...the kids were being very loud and excited when they saw her. You can see the FEAR on her face, lol.

Isn't this the cutest little milk truck ever?! It's my favorite blue color. It holds about 500 gallons of milk.

Sarah milking the cow. She couldn't do it at first and got upset, but then she finally got some milk and squealed with delight. I did it too and it was cool.

Sarah loved petting the baby cow. He was a cutie, with an under-bite that was to die for...made him look like he was grinning.

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Wonderful surprise

I got the best surprise this morning. My long time friend Kevan, who I've known since college and haven't seen in years, calledto let me know he was in town with his new little girl. I was beyond thrilled to see my good friend and his new baby, so Sarah and I headed off to meet he and his family at a local park for a stroll and some catching up.

It was another amazing day with perfect temperatures. Such a nice time just strolling and talking. Of course getting to snug a babe for a bit made me very happy. How I miss baby cheeks, drool and noises. Miss Grace is absolutely adorable and such a GOOD baby. In the three hours we were together, she never fussed once, took a nap and was completely content as could be giggling and looking at everything. And what a daddy's girl, let me tell you it was obvious from the second I saw her with Kevan, who I must tell endeavored to take this little four-month-old bug on a nine hour car ride all by himself for this visit/business trip since Grace's mom was not feeling well. Such a task taken on by a new dad gets many kudos from me (as I would expect from alot of women, lol).

I'm so glad to have gotten to meet Grace and see my dear friend. He's such a great guy and is and will be such a wonderful dad to this little red haired beauty. Again, I must say how much I enjoy seeing long time friends of mine (about 15 years for Kev) become parents. I still remember him at his college graduation party with hair passed his shoulders and a full on hippie beard, lol. Never imagined I'd see him one day holding his baby girl and being so head over heels for her. Too cool. Life is such a wonderful ride...seeing people grow and change and experience so many new, amazing and happy things. I could have never wished such happiness on a more wonderful guy than Kevan, who swore to me so many years ago he would never, ever have children, lol. He's always had such a good heart and kind spirit, which I know he will pass on to Grace.

Here's some shots of he and Grace that I know he and his mom are dying to see (click image for a larger version).

Photo sharin'

Yesterday was so beautiful here...perfect temperature at 75 degrees, nice wind, bright blue skies. Just gorgeous. So the girls and I sat outside for a few hours just chillin...before our allergies brought us indoors.

I wanted to take some photos of the girls but it wasn't the best time of day, nearly straight noon...light is just too harsh at that time of day. But, of course, that didn't keep me from it. When I looked at them last night I loved some of the shots I got, they just weren't great in terms of exposure. In fact, they were pretty horrible.

I didn't feel up to doing a huge Photoshop session on them. Then I remembered my new action set from Pioneer Woman. Voila...a few of her actions, some tweaking of my own and I absolutely love the results. I think I'll frame the ones of the girls since I don't have any current (the age they are now) photos up and framed in the house.

This one was virtually unusable straight out of the camera. I had the camera setting wrong and we were in shade under a tree, with major wind blowing therefore changing the light and shadows constantly, plus full sun around us...it was majorly underexposed. It's still dark on their faces, but I couldn't go much lighter without making it so grainy it was, again, unusable. I like this though, especially since it's near impossible to get these two together in a photo nowadays.

I just LOVE this one of her, though you can still faintly see the remains of her Crystal Light fruit punch mustache from the day before. I hate that stuff...it stains her skin for days.

And this one of her!

New shade pot by the back gate...

I ran a color action on this one and it's a bit radioactive in it's color...but I went with is anyway because of the way it showed off the light and dark parts of the flower.

And I absolutely adore the way this turned out. We have the most gigantic and beautiful weeping willow next to our house. I always try to photograph it to show of it's dramatic stature, but can't ever get it to translate well because of the darkness on that side of the house...always is a mash of green texture.

But one click of PW's vintage action and I got this. I think it looks like something out of a book or one of those old timey metal photos. Anway, it reflects what I think when I see that tree...dreamy.

Daily reminder

For all the moms, like me, who forget the preciousness of their children when things get a bit hairy...

This has to be one of the most beautiful and moving things I've ever read, from a woman who has had THE worst thing that can happen to a mother happen. Any time I fall short of being the mom I want or should be, I click right on over to this woman's blog and get a huge slap in the face on how assinine I'm being. Only takes one brief glance into her daily pain to make you realize how you must value your children...hell, anyone you love really.

http://sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com/2008/05/all-of-her-tomorrows.html

My life will never be the same

My oldest child can read EVERYTHING now. She's reading this as I type. OMG.

I've got to talk to that teacher of hers. What was she thinking making it so a kindergartener could read!!!

No more spelling out words I don't want her to know or writing notes thinking I can tell her father things without her knowing. OMG, my diaries!! Ok, note to self...get a lockbox.

STOP reading this Sarah!

Ok, this is not kosher. Ha, ha...you didn't know that word kiddo.

For more hilarity on this lovely turn of events check out my Twitter in the sidebar.